Let’s Give My Kid a Raisin Pie for Christmas
Christmas 2025 was fast approaching and I had not yet come up with a raisin-themed Christmas gift for my son. For those following along, this started when he was 3 and now he’s 22. I’m typing this as quickly as I can because at the rate time is flying I may be dead by the end of this post.
For a change of pace I thought it might be fun if we tried making something together on Christmas morning using raisins. And It occurred to me for all the fruit pies out there in the world, you never hear about Raisin Pie. I did a little research and the reason might surprise you — it turns out during World War I, the tannins in grape skins were needed to treat the wounds of soldiers… I’m making this shit up, the reason is NO ONE WANTS IT, YA NOOB!
Anyway, I did find a few recipes for “Old Fashioned Raisin Pie” online — apparently it was popular in the 1800s, which makes sense because chicken nuggets and Twix bars hadn’t been invented yet. Poor bastards.
After we opened presents I surprised my son with the idea of us making a raisin pie together. He was surprisingly receptive. The recipe is very straightforward, basically you heat up raisins with water, brown sugar and corn starch and bake it in a pie shell.
My son really perked up when I suggested that he could make a design on top of the pie using the extra dough. He decided he wanted to make the Sun-Maid herself and set out to work. Get ready to be blown away.
I don’t know if “lead crust-designer” is a career path, but he should consider it.
He beautifully transferred his own misery off receiving raisin gifts for the last 19 years onto the Sun-Maid — transforming her into THE GLUM-MAID.
In case you’re wondering, the pie itself was only okay. Not awful, but not one I would make again. The important thing is we had a lot of fun making it together. A lovely holiday bonding experience. Which I thought of. Because I’m great.
Good news, I made it to the end of this post without dying. Coincidentally, I learned from this article that Raisin Pie was also known as “Funeral Pie” to the Amish people of Pennsylvania because it was such a staple at wakes. Not to be grim, but aren’t we all just grapes slowly drying up and getting wrinkly as we head toward oblivion? The main difference being raisins might end up in a cookie or on celery with peanut butter, whereas we humans are usually buried and eaten by worms or set on fire. Anyway, Merry Christmas everybody!