Hello again from 2026! I like this little time machine thing we have going on.  My son remembered this post and asked me to add it.  It seems like kids don’t eat sugary breakfast cereal with cool mascots the way they used to.  I feel like that was literally 65% of my childhood. (Weirdly the other 35% was being fat.)  Perhaps kids now eat fruit that isn’t spelled “Froot”?  Lame.  I for one will not be going cuckoo for cantaloupe, thank you very much.

All Hail the Honey Thing


While chomping on some Honey Bunches of Oats, it occurred to me that they’ve taken that beehive-shaped wooden Honey-Stick Thing and actually made it their mascot.

I love how proudly it’s featured on the box. If Honey Bunches of Oats was a TV show, it would definitely be starring the honey thing.

It didn’t take much looking to see what a nice career this utensil has carved out for itself.

Over the years the honey-stick thing has appeared in a long-running series of boxes with fellow cereal star, the Honey Nut Cheerios bee.

The honey thing can also be seen co-starring (and drizzling) with Dig ‘Em the Frog in the big-budget buddy comedy, “Honey Smacks.”

The stick even scored a guest-starring role in the critically acclaimed cruncher, “Golden Grahams.”

Despite working with industry heavy-weights, it is certainly not beneath the Honey-stick to slum it for a quick check.

Here he can be seen in the straight-to-video cereal equivalent “Honey Bumpers” as well as playing an embarrassing dual-role in the breakfast aisle flop, “Mighty Bites.”

You have done well for yourself, little wooden honey thing. I suspect you have a kick-ass publicist, since NOBODY ACTUALLY USES YOU.

If I were that cute bear-shaped squeeze bottle of honey in my kitchen, I’d be on the phone with my agent right now, tearing him a new one.