Hey, guys. As you may have noticed, I haven't been around here a lot lately.

I'm just not in the right head at the moment to do this site the way I like to. Life and work have become a fairly large distraction the past couple of months and I don't want things to be half-assed. In my opinion, this site is at its best when it doesn't feel like work to me and I'm naturally eager to post the usual stupidity you find here.

Thank you so much for the concerned emails. I really really appreciate it. And to all of you who wondered if the problem was that I got eaten by a bear while taking my kids camping, I didn't.

Unfortunately, I can't give you a hard date for things to return to normal.

I'll be back when I'm back.

-Steve

Be back in a bit.

Also, I have somehow been tricked into going camping for two nights this weekend on a beach somewhere with my wife and boys and a bunch of cub scouts.

It might be the worst thing that has ever happened.

My wife keeps telling me I could end up having a good time, but based on how aggravating it was just BUYING the camping equipment with my lunatic children, I think we both know she's lying.

Rob, from the always great Cockeyed.com, writes:

Hey Steve!

I totally ran into a member of the Tree Brains in Costco tonight. I think his name was Hank. He was so nice, and patiently waited while we got out the camera and snapped a photo. He was super nice and friendly. Not at all like Rhianna.

He plays the hurdy gurdy, which probably explains why I didn't recognize him from band practice. I should have taken a peek into his cart to see what he was getting.. you know, to get the celebrity scoop! I hope he got a 4-pack of jumbo mustard tubs, they were only $12!

-Rob Cockerham

Thanks, Rob! And if you've never visited Cockeyed before, it's throughly Sneeze-approved. (And by the way, The Tree Brains shirts are not currently available.)

Cloud Cult has a brand new album. It's orchestral, epic and just the right amount of weird. As is the tradition, (and because I hate typical record reviews) I have asked my barely-8-year-old son to discuss the merits of this album.

How's the new album?

So good I can't even explain.

Well, try. What do you like about it?

Mostly the cool music. Each beginning is sorta long, 1 or 2 minutes. Actually I don't really care if the beginning is long or short. I just care that the music is great.

What's your favorite song?

Every song is my favorite song.

Well, if you could only listen to one song right now, which would it be?

The first two.

Classic. Describe Cloud Cult's music in general.

They're great. They sound like a professional rock band, IN WHICH THEY ARE!

Is there anything else you want to tell people about the album?

I'd like to tell people, once you find this in the Radio Shack, buy it. It's the best thing I've ever listened to in my whole life.

Have you ever been to Radio Shack?

No.

What do you think goes on in there?

Kinda like the iTunes store. Just a whole bunch of people buying music. But no elevator music. Mostly rock or something. Hey, why did Craig change the words to the Sneeze theme song?

Because after he wrote it, he ended up really liking the song and he wanted it to be on the album -- but cheerleaders screaming "This is The Sneeze" didn't make a lot of sense on an album called Feel Good Ghosts -- so he asked if it would be okay if he changed the words a little bit.

And you said sure?

Of course. Do you have anything else you'd like to say to everybody?

If you're in a Radio Shack and you see guys dressed up for a tea party with clouds, buy that one. Because that one's "Feel Good Ghosts." It's the best. It makes me want to get up out of my seat and start par-taying. That means partying.

How do you par-tay?

How do I par-tay? I do it by, getting out of my seat and doing a little bit of this and little bit of that. Pinch of this.

A pinch of what? What are you talking about?!

You get out of your seat and dance.

I get it now. You know Craig wrote all these songs. Do you have anything you'd like to say to him?

This album is the best one I've ever heard in my life. It makes my insides stand up and salute the appreciation of rock music made by you.

That might be the best music quote I've ever heard.

Really?

Really.

"Feel Good Ghosts" is currently available at the band's official website, www.cloudcult.com for immediate download.

Cloud Cult is currently touring across the country. Catch them live at any of these venues. And if you're near Los Angeles on May 14th, come on down to The Knitting Factory and say hi.

03-16 Little Rock, AR - Revolution Music Room
03-17 St. Louis, MO - Bluebird
04-08 Minneapolis, MN - Electric Fetus
04-11 Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon
04-12 Indianapolis, IN - Radio Radio
04-13 Ann Arbor, MI - Blind Pig
04-14 Toronto, Ontario - El Mocambo
04-16 Boston, MA - Middle East
04-18 New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
04-19 Washington, DC - Rock and Roll Hotel
04-21 Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506
04-22 Atlanta, GA - Smith's Olde Bar
04-24 Columbus, OH - The Basement
04-25 Chicago, IL - Schubas (two shows)
04-26 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
05-07 Bozeman, MT - Filling Station
05-08 Missoula, MT - The Loft
05-09 Seattle, WA - Neumos
05-10 Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge
05-13 San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill
05-14 Los Angeles, CA - Knitting Factory
05-16 Aspen, CO - Belly Up
05-17 Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge
05-18 Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge
05-19 Omaha, NE - Slowdown

(On a side note, I'm personally asking you to please not download the album illegally. In cases like this, you're not sticking it to the major labels -- you're only taking money directly out of the pocket of a very nice guy who is literally making this music in the basement of his Minnesota farm house. Thanks!)

Tiki mug art excitement is brewing!

Adam introduced me to Henrik. Henrik makes insane, one-of-a-kind hand-sculpted tiki mugs. Some of them light up, others have removable shot glass lids -- but they're all incredible.

Henrik has agreed to create a special mug for The Sneeze and keep us up to date with pictures as it slowly comes to life.

Here are just a few of his awesome tiki children...

We've kicked around a few ideas and Henrik is currently sketching up a few of them. I can't wait.

Check out all of Henrik's tiki mug creations at www.vantiki.com!

His latest mug is currently up for auction on eBay.

Thanks to all who participated in naming our new toilet.

I'm open to suggestions on realistic ways to display the name. (The comment board is now closed)

After far too much discussion, here are the finalist names for our new toilet.

They are a combination of ones I liked and ones you liked, but they are also ones that feel like they could be an actual toilet name. There were many I loved that didn't make the final list for various reasons (not kid-friendly, funny but too topical, etc.).

Here are just a handful of the terrific suggestions that deserve an Honorable Mention:

The Shitoon
iPood
H.R. Flushnstuff
Senor Burrito-Completo
Big Hungry Joe
Ol' Smeller
Loretta
The Six Million Dollar Can
There Will Be Blood
Poopacabra
Crapalodeon
Denny's

RESULTS NEXT WEEK.

In response to the previous post, a reader writes:

dear the sneeze --

i read about toilets on your website today. will you please have a the sneeze contest and let us, the fans of the sneeze, try to come up with the best toilet name ever? and would you agree to re-name your toilet the name that wins the contest? maybe you could pick the top 5 best toilet names submitted, and then we could all vote for the #1 winner.

if you like this idea, great! if not, fuck you.

--a sneeze reader (whom you kind of know personally)

p.s. i will start by suggesting "shit lagoon" -- but i have more.

Sure, why not. Our "Carrollton" from Toto is not a name to get excited about. And the toilet has not been installed yet, so once we have a new name, on the day it is installed I can christen it in more than one way.

Whether you have names to add or not, it would be helpful if you could mention any other submissions that you are liking, to help figure out the top 5.

The comment board is open now closed. (Poll coming soon.)